Are you free to be you?

What is your sexual identity? What is your gender identity? Have you ever thought about either very much? What does monogamy mean to you? What about exclusivity?

Our lives are shaped by our inner world, by our experiences, what we hear and see around us and what our communities that we live in, tell us. How often do we challenge these ideas and beliefs and what do we think of others who don’t align with our world view?

Are you able to be truly yourself in the world in which you live? Are you free to express your gender? Are you free to express yourself sexually that is consensual, respectful and safe?

If you are a cis-gendered, heterosexual in an exclusive relationship, you may never have questioned any of the above. Our Australian lifestyle is geared to support your way of being 100%.

What if you are gay? Can you have a photograph on your work desk of your partner and discuss on Monday mornings with your colleagues what you did on the weekend without filtering the details first so as not to ‘out’ yourself?

What if you’re trans? Can you safely go into the bathroom of your gender at a concert and not be jeered at or being asked if you are a man/woman?

Maybe you like swinger’s clubs since starting to go to experience something different. Do you feel proud of yourself or can you not help but feel embarrassed and ashamed and hope that no one sees you?

Maybe you don’t want to have sex at all. It’s just not important.

Any deviation from the accepted script is just ‘Not Okay’. Clients come to see me to tell me their story, to momentarily be relieved of the pressure they feel on a daily basis if they don’t fit the gender/sexual mould. They want, need, and should be told that who they are is enough and is to be celebrated. Being themselves in the world in a way that fits and feels true and causes no harm or disrespect to others is a basic human right.

We don’t need to only accept difference and diversity. That’s passive. We need to include those who we see as different and diverse into the fold of humanity and tell them they belong.