Prioritising the ‘Big Rocks’
I often talk with clients about their ‘Big Rocks’. What are the key things in your life that bring you meaning and fulfillment? It is an extension of the analogy of having to fit large rocks, smaller rocks and sand, into a jar. If we fill the jar with the sand first, followed by the smaller rocks, it is unlikely that all of the big rocks will fit.
It’s the same with our lives. If we constantly respond and give time to the less important (to us), but loud, or annoying, or irritating things (the sand and the smaller rocks); we find that we feel like we are chasing our tails and not achieving anything and feeling very frustrated, stressed and disconnected.
What are your ‘Big Rocks’? The clients I see are usually nominating the relationship with their partner as one of their ‘Big Rocks’. It is something that, if going well, gives them contentment, joy and fulfillment. It won’t happen by itself though. Relationships need nurturing. They require thought, review and intentional actions.
Other ‘Big Rocks’ might be the relationship we have with our children or other family members. It might be our health, our hobby or our work. Regardless, these things that are essential to our being (and are very personal and unique), need to be firstly identified, then require time, planning and follow through to prioritise them.
Some ideas and examples:
· I want a good relationship with my partner/s. Spend time reviewing the week with your partner. Tell them what support they gave that meant the most. Go on date nights. Keep them front of mind – check in with how they are feeling. Bring home flowers, wine, dinner … just because.
· I want to feel connected with my children. Volunteer at your child’s school, have their friends over, watch their sport, play board games with them, go on adventures regularly (camping, bike riding, going to different parks). Invite them for weekend lunch if you have adult children. Suggest going to a market together, an art gallery, op shop.
When we are clear about the things that matter the most to us, it is easier to say “No” (to ourselves or others) when we are asked to use our time in other ways that compete with our big rocks and are less important. When we prioritise those things which give our lives meaning, we feel aligned with who we are and we capture that elusive feeling of contentment and bliss.