World Sexual Health Day

September 4 is World Sexual Health Day (WSHD). What a great opportunity to talk about all things sexuality and sexual health. Conversations and dialogue about sex in all our spheres of life honour the importance of sex in our overall wellbeing. It doesn’t matter whether we are partnered or not, young or old, trans, gay or straight, feeling confident in our bodies and allowing ourselves to experience and give sexual pleasure is a wonderful thing. This year’s theme for WSHD is ‘Consent’. It seems that the more we think and talk about “Consent”, the more we realise just how complex and intricate it is. To have a fully consensual sexual experience, we need to know how to have these conversations with our partner/s before and during the experience. We must get rid of stereotypes, assumptions and expectations as they cloud our judgement and threaten how safe someone feels to say “No”. How often do you follow the same script when it comes to sex? “He always likes this”, “I’ll warm her up a bit and then she is usually keen”, “It’s Friday night. We always do it on Friday night”. Every time requires a checking in first. “Hey Babe, would you like me to …? Is there something you would like me to do? How do you feel about … ?”

Keep in mind that energy levels, stress, preoccupations, and health, impact how ready or willing we are to engage in sex. Also consider what each person wants from the experience. Is it to connect? To express love? For release? To try and become pregnant? Your partner may not be up for wild, erotic, sexual exploration, but may want to connect in another way, maybe to shower together and caress each other. Have a menu of options that you can consider and have the conversation about what each person would like. Understanding the concepts of consent allows people to understand each other and connect intimately in a more consensual, fulfilling way without expectations. The World Sexual Health Day website has more about consent.